TAKUMI: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
by animezealot196
Summary: Please refer to this short handbook to have a complete and enjoyable experience with your very own hot alien. (Collaboration with SakKim98!)


**Hellllooo! animezealot196 here! I don't really know what to tell you except that SakKim-san suggested the idea (and did half of the work) for editing a manual of our beloved alien together; (inspired by the lovely manual written for Kira-kun from Death Note)** **since she understands the daily thirst and complications all Usui fangirls go through and as fellows with the same passion, we have compiled this information to the best of our abilities. (This sounds weird :P )**

 **It's our first collaboration story! YAY! (also my first collaboration with anyone….)**

 **If you've taken your time to read my foolish ramblings, I am very grateful. Now you may proceed to what you were actually here for. Reviews and Ratings are wanted and appreciated.**

 **Enjoy! :)**

 **…..**

 **TAKUMI: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual**  
The Care and Keeping of the The Hottest Alien from Planet Pheromone

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of your very own USUI TAKUMI unit. With a little help from this manual, you'll have no trouble turning the little nonchalant pretty boy into a world-class stalker. Each section of this user guide has been organized for your convenience and ease, with FAQ and Troubleshooting located at the bottom. It is suggested you read the following information thoroughly, especially if you want to survive an onroll of pheromones, if you value your secrets and want them kept, If you want to be helped in times of stress by a multi-talented alien and mainly, if you DON'T want to be ignored by this super-hot Blondie!

 **Technical Specifications:**

 **Name:** Usui Takumi (A.K.A. Usui; perverted alien, Usui-kun. Will also respond to,"Baka Usui!" and "HENTAI ALIEN!")

 **Birth date:** April 27 (differs from Date of Manufacture)

 **Battery Span** (when first activated): 939126399090909 ( as long as AYUZAWA MISAKI Unit says)

 **Height:** 186 cm (Roughly 6 ft 1 in)

 **Weight:** 49 kg (About 108 lbs)

 **Length:** (lol..length of what? Ask for this particular information from AYUZAWA MISAKI unit. We are not responsible if she only blushes in response.) The product shall tell you, or show you, rather, provided you don't faint by the stripping act...

 **Date of Manufacture:** The exact time and place is unknown, but will definitely occur again, about when YU HIROSE unit and PATRICIA WALKER unit are finally left alone.

 **Place of Manufacture:** Patricia's Falling-and-being-unable-to-move-Incident Inc., (Walker Mansion), Maid-Sama Corp.

 _ **Note:**_ Your USUI TAKUMI unit, like all other Maid-Sama Corp. units, will grow to maturity once activated, or until the invisible numbers (battery) above its head run out. To program an age limit, please contact one of our certified retailers. If you wish to be a lifesaver and prevent your TAKUMI unit's death, purchase a MISAKI unit from Maid Latte Inc. and labour your TAKUMI unit as a chef there. (Warning: The time-span for your work is undefined. They may ask you to return on numerous occasions.)

 **Your USUI TAKUMI Unit Comes with the Following Accessories:**

Seika High School's Uniform Value Pack

(includes green blazer, red tie, white collared-shirt, beige pants, and uniform shoes)

Miyabigaoka High School Bonus Pack

(includes _finer_ white blazer, black collared shirt, white pants and uniform shoes.)

Chef uniform Special mode pack

(includes a white chef uniform, and a ladle for tasting wondrous dishes.)

Oval silver rimmed glasses

Underwear

Belt (many uses)

Watch

Cell phone

Bath Robe

Yukata

Black Neko

(Prefers to be called Licht. Periodically Aggressive to strangers.)

Photo of Usui and Misa-chan (x1)

Box of Chocolate Pocky (x1)

Cookbook (optional)

When first opening the box, it is suggested you snatch the Photo before activation, or your USUI TAKUMI unit will never enter STALKER mode (see Modes). It is essential this mode be unlocked by MISAKI or SATSUKI unit. Reports of Out of Character USUI TAKUMI units are the results. Also, have a packet of pocky handy to satisfy your hungry unit with.

 **Programming:**

Your USUI TAKUMI unit comes with a vast number of functions. Below are just a few of the jobs it is compatible with:

 **Part-time Chef** (Maid Latte): If you remember correctly, your TAKUMI unit did stalk Misa-chan all over to the next district. Use this information to make its dream come true, and encourage its working in the Cafe. If you give them towels, USUI TAKUMI units generally thank their owners with a home-cooked meal.

 **Grade Topper:** With its intelligence and alien-ness, your TAKUMI USUI unit will have no trouble memorizing the answers of your nerdiest neighbour, so you'll never have to do class work, homework—heck, who needs to study when you've got a TAKUMI USUI unit!

 **Bait** : Crazy, lusty, child molesters running amok in your neighborhood? Tie your TAKUMI UNIT unit up in a chair (if you can) and watch as it attracts those guys like a super magnet! Fear not, for after those criminals have arrived, your TAKUMI unit will promptly and painfully beat those guys to a bloody pulp, all credits to the superhuman abilities!

 **Main Attraction:** Planning a party with the hottest 'it' girls around, but fear they might not be coming? Just put on the invitation that TAKUMI USUI will be serving there (In a sailor outfit, no less), and those chicks will be spraying each other with their own pepper spray to get to the heartthrob.

 **Your TAKUMI USUI Unit Will Come in the Following Modes:  
**  
Social aloofness (Default)

Indifference

Cold-hearted rejecter

Clinically Insane/Maniac

Stalker (locked)

Perverted alien (locked)

Out of Character-OOC/ Slash (locked)

When TAKUMI USUI units with a fractured limb will play the violin without batting an eye is known as its Butler Mode. This mode is not programmed to last very long, as several owners have complained of it leading to their TAKUMI USUI 's nonfunctioning until a MISAKI AYUZAWA unit is available.

If your TAKUMI USUI unit has recently lost a battle with an IGARASHI TORA unit and seems to have no easy way out of the predicament, it will enter Clinically Insane/Maniac Mode. Repetitive usage of the Perverted alien Mode will also result in this. Recent reports also state this to be the result of repeated interactions with a KANOU SOUTAROU unit. In Clinically Insane/Maniac Mode, your TAKUMI USUI unit will creepily laugh nonstop with his mouth hanging open. The laughter can last anywhere between half an hour to days. Also known as short spasms, this is considered a glitch in the programming. Also, cases of TAKUMI units straying off their path and attempting to jump off various roofs without valid reasons have been reported recently.

If the Usui and Misa-chan photo is revealed and followed by a HINATA SHINTANI unit, TAKUMI USUI possession and intensified violent tendencies unlocks the very important JEALOUSY mode. Its enemies will then refer to it as a WOLF unit. TAKUMI will also realize his true mission: to wrap HINATA SHINTANI unit in a cardboard box and ship it overseas. Owners are free to use this mode at no extra shipping and export charges.

TAKUMI'S exile is practically inevitable after a face-to-face meeting with a GERALD WALKER unit (see Relations). Unable to hide from his family Mode will be unlocked, in which a TAKUMI unit is forced to return to Walker mansion Inc. To worsen things more, TAKUMI will lose its phone to a GERALD unit after a week. Warning: This will result in MISAKI AYUZAWA units' rescue mission under TORA IGARASHI units' assistance. There is no way out.

Another locked mode is TAKUMI USUI 's Out of Character (OOC)/ Slash Mode. A SHOUICHIROU YUKIMURA unit can unlock both easily, more so when the two are around MISAKI AYUZAWA unit. OOC for each TAKUMI unit varies upon its daily tasks and wants. The most common OOC action performed by TAKUMI units is half-naked streaking (which is quite enjoyable to the eye) and kissing said YUKIMURA units.

Slash mode is Out of Character as well, but pertains to your TAKUMI unit's sexual desires, which are almost always towards MISAKI unit, but sometimes to HYOUDOU AOI units as well. Have fun watching two equally sexy—in their own special way-units screw each other for the rest of their slash-filled days.

 **Relations With Other Units:  
**  
 **AYUZAWA MISAKI:** TAKUMI's most important and enjoyable to watch mode (see above) would remain locked if not for this demon president of Seika High Inc., popular worker at Maid sama Corp. AYUZAWA MISAKI and TAKUMI USUI units share an interesting bond, one that can only be described as the following: challenges, rivalry, love-hate, and ultimately, lust. They also share common genius abilities, although a lot more is seen on the USUI unit. Fostering a romance between the two is essential in keeping your TAKUMI USUI unit active, both in casual events and of course, the bedtime activities.

 **SHOUICHIROU YUKIMURA:** ( _ **Note:**_ Though he is very pretty, it is critical to realize that a SHOUICHIROU YUKIMURA unit is male, so don't try to dress him up in little dresses.) The 'girl-like' and 'teasable' unit of TAKUMI USUI, this small Council Vice-President will be teased around by your sadistic playboy, generally being crossdressed by him and thrown in the way of unsuspecting males. At times,TAKUMI may succumb to YUKIMURA'S cuteness, and actually kiss him. Interaction with SHOUICHIROU YUKIMURA unit in the presence of children is NOT advised.

 **GERALD WALKER:** GERALD WALKER is first in line for the Walker inc. and is half of the _WALKER HEIRS DUO VALUE PACK.(Available at flat 30% off if you already own a TAKUMI USUI unit)_ It is highly recommended that you do not expose your TAKUMI USUI unit to a GERALD WALKER unit in any circumstances, as exposure will lead to your TAKUMI unit's ass being taken prisoner—figuratively speaking—requiring a complete recovery of the TAKUMI unit.

 **HYOUDOU AOI:** ( _ **Warning:**_ This unit may have a tendency appear as a beautiful female most of the time but is actually a male middle-schooler.) Passionate for cute dresses and periodically thrown out of home, HYOUDOU AOI is used to dressing up as a female, and will do anything to seduce men and keep his secret. That being said, once the TAKUMI and AOI units rendezvous alone in a dark changing room; its all over.

 **HINATA SHINTANI** : Your TAKUMI USUI unit's rival in High School and childhood friend of MISAKI AYUZAWA. TAKUMI and HINATA units will, upon seeing each other, engage in a nasty dogfight over custody of MISAKI AYUZAWA. Shortly after falling from tree branch, a HINATA unit will confess to MISAKI.

 **TORA IGARASHI:** Also known as THE MIYABIGAOKA PRESIDENT, TORA IGARASHI units are annoyingly rich posers, and are willing to buy anything with their boatloads of money. If left alone with TAKUMI USUI units, TORA units will usually tease, vex, and show compromising pictures to your TAKUMI unit until it goes completely nuts and enters Clinically Insane/Maniac Mode. The two are exceptionally attractive blondes.

 **Cleaning:**

It is absolutely, completely necessary to bathe your TAKUMI USUI unit as often as possible. Though the unit is fully capable of cleaning and grooming itself, and has done very well so far, it is a good idea to have random strip searches…just in case your TAKUMI USUI unit does something bad. They can be very sneaky.

 _ **Warning:**_ TAKUMI USUI units and its manufactures are not responsible for any marital disputes caused by bathing a TAKUMI USUI unit.

 **Feeding and Rest:**

Your TAKUMI USUI unit should be properly fed at least three meals a day, and enjoys a wide variety of foods. TAKUMI units are not picky eaters, though they enjoy the occasional chocolate parfait. Your TAKUMI USUI should also get a full night's rest whenever possible, due to the draining effect of its constant stalking and alien duties. Also, food by MISAKI units will be highly appreciated by all TAKUMI units. ( _ **Warning:**_ Under any circumstance, DO NOT consume or let anyone besides TAKUMI unit to consume any MISAKI unit's food. Any medical expenses thus incurred would not be paid by the Inc.)

 **Disposal:**

Unfortunately, you may grow tired of your TAKUMI USUI'S over-protective personality and indifferent face, causing you to wish to dispose of it. This can be done easily by selling or giving the unit away to MISAKI AYUZAWA, GERALD WALKER, HINATA SHINTANI, or TORA IGARASHI units, though MISAKI AYUZAWA unit is the safest bet. Or, you can obtain an AOI unit and put the two together alone in a closet full of (naughty?) toys.

 **Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ):**

 **Question** : I've been finding Maid Latte snap-shots around the house and marked route plans taped on the walls, what's going on? – _Hao is Hot_

 **Answer:** Your TAKUMI unit's STALKER mode has been activated. If you are a MISAKI unit hater, or are a family member of any Maid cafe worker, it is suggested you deactivate or give away your TAKUMI unit immediately.

 **Q:** AOI units are stalking and/or threatening me asking for the TAKUMI unit. Help? – _Passe on an Angel  
_  
 **A:** AOI units can be a little too possessive over the ownership of TAKUMI USUI. As long as they do not know your name and/or your address and schedule, and TAKUMI likes you, you'll be perfectly safe. For this reason, in the future and while with your TAKUMI unit, it is a good idea to run away once you see any AOI unit.

 **Q:** My TAKUMI USUI laughs maniacally in the weirdest of moments (i.e. when I was giving him a bath, while watching The Grudge). Is it broken? _-Still confused Me_

 **A:** No, no, your USUI unit is just in its Clinically Insane/Maniacal Mode, a glitch in the programming (see Modes). It also could have caught a nasty laughing virus from an IGARASHI TORA unit.

 **Q:** How much do Maid Sama Corp. units generally cost? – _Several pen names_

 **A:** Depending on the model, Maid Sama Corp. units cost anywhere between one to one million dollars. Recently, there has been a high demand and in result, lower prices. Maid Sama Corp. units can be bought easily but at higher prices on I-bay. I don't see how this question pertains to TAKUMI USUI, though.

 **Q:** There's a mob of people outside by house bearing pickles and vegetables. What's going on?

 **A:** They're most likely anti-TAKUMI people, led by SHINTANI HINATA unit. An easy way out would be inviting a MISAKI AYUZAWA unit over and have it talk to the SHINTANI unit. Or, you can have your MISAKI AYUZAWA scare the people away by the DEMON PRESIDENT mode.

 **Troubleshooting:**

 **Problem** : I purchased an AYUZAWA MISAKI unit to unlock my TAKUMI USUI unit's perverted Alien mode, but nothing happens when I put them together.

 **Solution** : Have your TAKUMI USUI unit enter stalker mode first, resulting in further development.

 **Problem:** Excessively paranoid TAKUMI unit, though no IGARASHI units are present.

 **Solution:** A SHINTANI unit is present. Get your TAKUMI unit as far away from the area as possible.

 **Problem:** I asked for a gorgeous genius, and instead I got a hooded, spectacled, aloof, silent and creepy male unit.

 **Solution:** Next time, be more specific that you wanted a TAKUMI USUI unit. You have instead received a KANOU SOUTAROU unit, who, with proper care, can be just as much fun as a TAKUMI USUI unit. For better results, also buy a YUKIMURA SHOUICHIROU unit.  
 **  
Final Note:**

With proper, loving care, your TAKUMI USUI unit will grow to be a fantastic alien stalker who can really show off his tush on the catwalk. In the end, after TAKUMI manages to get rid of complications with GERARD units, it may develop a taste for lots of hots, wild sex with MISAKI unit, leaving you with gorgeous and beautiful looking alien-like little USUI children. Please visit our website for more information.

Thank you for purchasing this product.

Have a nice day :)

…

 **YATTA! So that's the USUI manual! Liked it?**

 **Total gratitude of mine to animezealot-chan! (In case you didn't get it, SakKim98 here :P)**

 **Her edits were the perfect cherry on the cake(although she's NOT a beta and has given an EQUAL contribution to the fic)**

 **Liked it? Give us your full support!**

 **And if we get an adequate(would prefer an excellent) response, I'll publish other Maid Sama Inc. manuals as well!**

 **Arigatou!**

 **Yours,**

 **animezealot196 and SakKim98**


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